i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
