Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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