where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
