just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
