So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
