Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
