D3 body, D1 cock
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
