as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
