Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
