the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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