i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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