this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
