Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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