I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I miss vodka workout Fridays
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize