So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Pants are for mortals
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
