Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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