I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
