Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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