Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
