id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
