508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize