i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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