ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
