Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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