Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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