did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
