it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
