...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
