i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
