she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
50% drunk capacity currently
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize