I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
