Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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