I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
