i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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