I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize