They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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