so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
