and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
