That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
