Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
