he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
