The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You don't make any sense
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