what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
