If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize