You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The convent might be a nice break from real life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
