The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he was CRYING into my vagina
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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