let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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