I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
