She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize