Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
