she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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