he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
