Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think my fart just growled at me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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