Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
