I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
