doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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