I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just found puke in my bra..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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