sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
