5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
